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Man Writes to Econet,Complains for Not being able to download Nudes

In a message titled “A letter to my longtime lover and provider ” an Econet subscriber a one ‎Kobe Dhabha‎ complained to the service provider for not being able to download nude pictures.

Dhabha chronicled his disappointment with the slow network in a hilarious yet sincere way. Below we republish his message as is (Message was posted on the Econet official Facebook page)

Dear Econet

I’m writing this to u coz I gotta break up with u. It’s not me….. Its u. U did this to us. We had it so good wen we started.

 

What happened? U had me grinning back in the early to mid two thousands with all those txts u gave me.

All those minutes the attention was intoxicating. But then came the Internet age and u changed. U been switching up on me.

At first I thought nah its just a phase. But nope u really have become this cold inconsiderate b…. No I won’t call u names now that things have gone bad.

But I mean look at how netone treats their relationships. Damn it’s like I’m seeing these netone users floating in town facebooking and downloading whatsapp videos.

I can’t remember when last i downloaded one of those?. I hear them laughing and video calling and I just sit there with u in my hand tense quiet.

We used to b them. They r us. Like usher said I gotta let this burn. I mean they have one fusion. They out Google me in arguments now.

I’m employed and broke kids with netone lines have more data than i do. Do u know how inadequate that makes me feel?

Anyway I have been faithful to u for 15 yrs now. But I guess this is it. I want to know wat YouTube is without bleeding thru the nose.

I want to fb my homies and send nudes maybe even receive a few. Now I can’t even afford to download a nude pic…. I have to read abt them in whatsapp groups.

The worst part is I thot I had u figured out. I wud b like ok this data will last me a week. But nope. U still found a way to surprise me.

Do u know hw depressing that You have 14mbs remaining message is? I guess u don’t.

I just can’t afford u anymore. U r too demanding. I won’t achieve anything with yo nails so deep in me.

Maybe u really r for the rich and famous and I was just a stepping stone in yo journey.

Now the awkward part begins.

Seeing u on billboards knowing that we had each other and we lost each other. Having to tell my family that it’s over and we have to all move to new bae netone. It’s all so stressful. But it has to b done. Ur success has made u neglect me. 

I wish u well my love.

Yours
Gone forever

“I Found Happiness & Happiness Found Me” — Married Mcdee

We are now definitely convinced that someone is putting something in the celebville water, if they are not making babies then they are getting hitched.

One of Zimbabwe’s biggest music producers Macdonald Macdee Chidavaenzi is officially someone’s person. 

On Saturday Mcdee paid lobola for his sweetheart Rutendo Mukonho at her homestead in Westgate. He broke the news on his Facebook account with the following caption “Then God gave me a wife. Ndobva tadii paya?? #officiallyoffthemarket”

 

Gospel singers Tembalami and Zim Praise’s Wellington Kwenda made up the Lobola negotioan team together with some of Mcdee’s familly elders.

He told Zimbuzz of the feeling of being a married man: “Half the time i was outside raging with the anxiety of what was going on inside so i didn’t really get the negotiation experience,” he said.

“But because i was dealing with a family that values building family more than finances, our negotiations were fair, to be honest.”

He spoke of the anxiety that made him sick the previous night: ” The hardest part was the night before with the stress, I actually got sick due to anxiety,” he revealed.

“But thank God it worked out fine, I found happiness and happiness found me I think I can live with that.”

He also confirmed that their wedding will be coming in no time but couldn’t reveal more details.

We say congratulations to Mcdee and Rutendo.

5 Times P Myte Wasu Tried To Look Normal And Failed

We are not too sure how to classify this guy whether to call him a comedian or just Wasu wepamuromo, but one thing for sure his facebook timeline is full of rib-cracking statements through what he terms #Pamurumo survey.

He is one of the many guys in Zimbabwe who are responsible for creating some viral jokes that ends up on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp groups.

Unfortunately, he is not credited for it and not many will ever know the wit and humorous intelligent that he is blessed (cursed) with.

 

His name is P Myte Chihwa and likes to call himself Wasu. Last night he left his native Mutare home to come and celebrate birthday of Spencer Madziya in Harare

This guy is funny and has amassed a large following on facebook just for being himself. A crash course for those in the dark – Vist his  Facebook Profile here

Now for those that are used to his everyday jokes, it’s hard to imagine that P Myte can ever have a serious moment.

Yesterday he did try to be serious but he failed so miserably. Below is a collection of all of Wasu’s moments last night.

 

1.His eye was already planning mischief on arrival as he was being interviewed by Cindy on the red carpet.

P Myte having a red carpet interview

 

2.This is exactly how we imagine him while typing his crazy facebook posts

 

3. Don’t let this picture fool you, he was not being normal at all skip to the next one

 

 

4. We are not too sure how long his hands are and where they were placed at this particular moment.

 

5. Wasu attempts to eat Candice’s lipstick

Wasu attempts to taste Candice’s lipstick

Low Turnout At Cassper Nyovest Show… Rapper Flies Back To Jozi Before Harare Gig

The Cassper Nyovest concert in Bulawayo failed to attract a large crowd as expected of the Tito Mboweni hitmaker reports FOKUS MAGAZINE

Cassper Nyovest Picture by The Greyfotress Photography

The show which only managed to attract close to 800 people was held at the Large city hall car park, which has recently seen four flopped gigs.

The rapper performed his hit tracks- Tito Mboweni, Push through the pain, and also did his verses on Ngud and Rands and Nairas much to the excitement of the crowd that broke down the VIP barricade to get a closer view of the action.

 

After his close to an hour act, Nyovest left the stage for Zim-dancehall chanters Freeman and Soul Jah Love who failed to match the levels set by the Mzansi rapper.

Cal Vin, Asaph, Mzoe7, Guluva Se7en, Skaiva who performed before Nyovest enticed fans to turn up the party mood.

Meanwhile, Nyovest who will headline Impala Car rental 10th-anniversary celebrations in Harare tonight flew out to South Africa this morning for a show at the Major League gardens.

 

Nyovest is expected to perform in Jozi at 4 pm before flying back to Harare at 7 pm.

 

Fokus Magazine is a Nama and Zim Hip Hop Awards nominated Blog that operates from Zimbabwe’s second largest City, Bulawayo. Its main thrust is in Arts and Entertainment. You can read some of their stories by visiting http://fokusmag.co.zw/

Here is How the Boss Partied

It was a birthday celebration befitting a Boss as celebrity A-Listers converged at number 139 Samora Machel Avenue at the Volt to party with birthday boy Spencer Madziya.

Boss Spencer and the guests. Picture by Royal Media Group

The Black and Blue themed party will definitely go down memory lane as one of the most extravagant celebrity bashes.

It was a show with a money-themed cake, stunning event décor, white Lounge couches, and all-around white seating areas that also added a stylistic element to the party.

 

DJ Krimz and DJ iRock took turns on the turntable as they kept the over the top spending and glamorous attendees on their toes with current hits interlaced with some classic favourites.

Cindy Munyavi and Tafadzwa Zimoyo kept the red carpet sizzling as they interacted with the guests, meanwhile, the co-hosts Candice Mwakalyelye and the Comic Pastor had their feet on the pedal as they kept the event the running smoothly.

Cindy Munyavi and Tafadzwa Zimoyo. Picture – Royal Media Group

Musicians Seh Calaz, Stunner, BaShupi, Taurai Mandebvu and rapper 8L gave eclectic performances with a various combination of their chart-topping hits.

Many of the invited guests managed to stick to the Black and Blue theme and in our forthcoming article we shall be checking out our best-dressed attendees.

Boss Spencer

You might have seen your facebook timeline clogged with posters of this man’s birthday and wondered why the Boss is such a popular man.

Well, he is special. Boss Spencer is one kind man whose love for the next person is unmatched, the businessman has uplifted a lot of local musicians by providing free venues, funding their shows, videos or recordings.

So when such a man is celebrating his birthday, the noise is louder and the prayers even more sincere.

May the Boss live forever.

Is it Just Us or Pokello Just Got Hotter !?

Pokello Nare has always been beautiful because she’s Pokello the undisputed Queen of Swag.

Picture – Pokello Instagram

But of late it seems like the 2013 Big Brother housemate has had a peak in hotness. Now we all know Pokello for her signature haircut but she has had a change of style and is now sporting braids.

Be it either the presence or absence of hair Pokello is just disturbingly hot

 

The mother of two sons is showing us that just like wine she is getting better with age. Our fear now is that at 50 she might even be looking hotter than your varsity girl.

 

Behold the beauty that is Pokello

Picture – Pokello Instagram

 

Who needs sugar in their tea when you have this.

Picture – Pokello Instagram

 

It’s time for the national anthem

Picture – Pokello Instagram

 

Here They Are – The Amazing Idols SA XIII Top 10!

It was a razzle-dazzle spectacular when Idols revealed this season’s Top 10 to an excited audience at the South African State Theatre in Pretoria and the millions of viewers at home.

Idols Top 10

DStv customers held their collective breath last night as 16 were cut down to 10, with host Proverb delivering news that was a blessing to some and a blow to others. But before the big chop, Group 1’s eight contestants took to the stage one last time as a squad for a rendition of Bruno Mars’ That’s What I Like.

Soon enough, hearts were in throats as Proverb came on with a drum roll. Season 13’s youngest contestant, Paxton, was the first person to occupy a chair in the Winners’ Circle. She wasn’t alone for long, as Phindy, Faith and Thokozile joined her. The ladies were showing a strong presence.

 

Lindo, Christo, Blessed and Gugu Zulu didn’t garner enough votes, leaving their faith in the hands of the judges who had two saves to round off the Top 10.

To give everyone a breather from the nerves, Group 2 took to the stage to perform Black Box’s evergreen hit, Fantasy. Soon after, Proverb delivered good news to the ecstatic Mthokozisi and Botlhale, who became the first guys to make the Top 10.

After more heart-stopping pauses from Proverb, Thapelo and Tee got the thumbs up but Gabi, Hadassah, Basetsana and Minnie were left crossing fingers to be on the judges’ “save” list.

The judges rounded off the Top 10 by saving Lindo and Christo, making it a clean sweep for all the guys in the competition.

Randall, who has been sitting at the judges’ table the longest, had this sage advice: “After 12 seasons, you can forget just what an impact Idols has. Grab this opportunity with both hands and make it work for you!”

It wasn’t all frayed nerves and butterflies – Idols is a music show after all! The night’s line-up lit up the stage with popular tunes that were a welcome respite, including Gobisiqolo by Bhizer featuring Busiswa, S.C Gorna, Trigger Bhepepe. Vusi Nova made his first big stage appearance after his assault, crooning Ndikuthandile.

Wayse and I Never Quit brought some dance moves with a medley of songs, and Sun-El Musician featuring Samthing Soweto entertained with AkanamaliIdols 13’s new in-house mentor, Donald, performed his hit Raindrops featuring the multi-talented and multi award-winning Tiwa Savage. 

 

Idols XIII Top Ten:

Paxton Fielies

Phindy Dube

Faith Msibi

Thokozile Ndimande

Mthokozisi Ndaba

Botlhale Phora

Thapelo Esau

Tee Xaba

Lindo Sithole

Christo Daniels

 

Idols SA season 13 is on Mzansi Magic, DStv Channel 161 on Sundays at 17:00 CAT

How Did We Miss this Video from Lamont Chitepo?

Lamont Chitepo is prolific when it comes to music videos, from Maoko Mudenga to the highly successful and award-winning song Maiwe which features Kin, the UK based singer is your source of artistic inspiration.

In his new video Your Way, Lamont again recruited the best for this love story 

First of all, the casting is perfect, the dancing is gorgeous, the wardrobe is something to inspire (heavy dose of style inspiration) —But it’s also set on what looks like an expensive beach house with hauntingly beautiful ladies and gents having a good time.

 

The people in the video don’t look like they are in a rush to go anywhere, they are partying in a slow, somewhat lazy way and the combination is extra colourful, creative and dreamy.

The track Your Way which features Nigerian singer Nuzak is a creatively made song, that seeks to trigger Lamont’s dispatch into the ever aggressive international market.

The way the video cuts to poolside dancers, Lamont seated and singing on an expensive lounge suite and carefully selected clips from the house party give the resulting footage a captivating effect. 

The video has an “All round Watchable Feel” you can even watch it during your Monday’s coffee break.

He is already teasing a new video that he calls ”Body Diagram’ with some provocative pictures on his Facebook page but for now …Your Way

 

Enjoy the video below

Bryan K Just had A change of Heart from Heavy Machine to Small Machine

Love is probably music’s most popular topic and it’s almost predictable that when an artist says they have a new song, it will be about that.

Bryan K

But Bryan Kadengu always breathes new life into this subject, remember when he dropped Heavy Machine? It is somewhat a task to categorise his sound as he seems to have freed himself of the constraints of genre.

The young man just dropped a new song titled Magi and it features certified hit maker Ex Q and DJ Towers and the three showcased tight chemistry on Maggie.

 

In Heavy Machine, he sings about a voluptuous African woman, and as evidenced by his video his preference (then) where the fuller figured type.

However, in Maggie, he is a with a slender girl, the type that you see in Victoria’s secret Shows….Ok, Bryan, we know you are trying to prove to us that your heart is as flexible as your voice is on any beat. We forgive you

Bryan K possesses something few other singers have or ever will, fresh lyrics and compositions, a very strong vocal and it’s that combination that gives him an unmatched sound.

Maggie might not be that song that goes into your favourites section on your playlist, but it’s that kind of a song that provokes your thoughts especially when he describes the quality that makes her (Maggie) marriage material.

Such rich lyrics from a young boy is what earns him respect and a seat at the table with the high and mighty.

Song is Produced by top African producers Simba Tagz and Kamera, video directed by Peter Chigayo.

Watch the video below

Boss Spencer Unleashes the Black & Blue Police

We are fast approaching that seasonal wardrobe transition and what a better way to do that than party with the Boss – Spencer ‘Boss Spencer’ Madziya.

Summer parties are the best and the man who has had a hand in the careers of many in the Showbiz industry will be celebrating his many years of existence by throwing a Black and Blue Party at The Volt tomorrow night.

Spencer has now built a reputation of throwing flashy, A-list parties that change the face of that joint along Samora Machel.

The coming of age of a boss deserves a bigger celebration that lasts for days we are hoping this one will spill over into the weekend.

The party will be hosted by the celebrity duo of Candice Mwakalyelye and Comic Pastor.

Now y’all know the drill, two of the country’s finest dressers songstress and Fashion designer Cindy Munyavi and 2016 Style Oracle Awards best-dressed Journalist, Herald scribe Tafadzwa ‘The Boss’ Zimoyo will be waiting for you on the red carpet.

There are not taking any fashion excuses, the weather has become oppressively hot but that doesn’t mean you can get away with violating the Red Carpet look.

Same time last year a few of you were guilty of violating the dress code and Zimbuzz muted justice on you, Read all of it HERE

“Red carpet means formal gone are the days when people would rock the Pharell Williams style or look but its thing of past. Tuxedos and blazer are measure points you don’t go wrong,” advised Tafadzwa Zimoyo.

That automatically rules out your favourite ripped denim and that 2006 Dembare Jersey.

Zimoyo said he was expecting to see glitz and glamour as most Zimbabweans now understood the concept of the red carpet.

Blue and Black seemed to be an odd combination but the Entertainment journalist thinks it’s a perfect marriage.

“Both are my favourite colours when it comes to elegance, in fact, two years ago Boss Spencer hosted for me a black and blue affair birthday party and we coincidentally pulled the same look, the eight and six button,” he said with a grin.

Tafadzwa Zimoyo and Boss Spencer

His advice to the brothers coming to the party

“My fashion advice for men on the Blue and Black combination is pick one and then dominate with it but don’t overdo it. Stick to the colours and don’t add your own,” he said.

Zimoyo, however, refused to give a hint on what he is going to wear to the party deciding to leave the task to his stylist Cynthia Bizure of JanJam.

We couldn’t get hold of Cindy as she was said to be 41,000 feet above sea level, we understand she has gone for some shopping as well as meeting some of her foreign based designers.